1
00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:06,510
A fine romance with no kisses.

2
00:00:06,930 --> 00:00:13,650
A fine romance, my friend, this is. They
think we're like a

3
00:00:13,650 --> 00:00:15,550
couple of hot tomatoes.

4
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:20,850
But we're as cold as yesterday's map of
top toes.

5
00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:26,890
A fine romance with no wrestling.

6
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,570
A fine romance.

7
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:35,580
with no nestling. We might as well play
bridge with our maiden arms.

8
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:38,100
Love hasn't got a charm.

9
00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,900
This is a fine romance.

10
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,320
One minute to go.

11
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,400
Laura, it's just a cake.

12
00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:52,380
You're making it sound like a launch
from Kate Canaveral.

13
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:54,940
My baby cake, the two events are not
dissimilar.

14
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,680
It's a knife edge between triumph and
disaster.

15
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,060
It can't go wrong. Can if I made it. But
I supervised every move you made.

16
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,320
Leonardo da Vinci supervised his pupils,
but they didn't all produce Mona Lisas,

17
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,340
did they?

18
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,980
Thirty seconds and counting.

19
00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:13,840
You're making me nervous now.

20
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,680
Not being able to see it.

21
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,600
At least when I cook things in a
saucepan I can see them go wrong.

22
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,020
It can't go wrong.

23
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,940
of a bouncing baby cake.

24
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,300
It worked!

25
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,619
What did it?

26
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:45,620
Of course it worked.

27
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,440
Do you think I'm ready to try a souffle?
Not today. I don't think my nose could

28
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,440
stand it. No.

29
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:51,540
No, quite right.

30
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:52,700
Quit while you're ahead.

31
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,660
All that interest in cooking.

32
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,720
I assume Mike is the reason.

33
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,100
Well, I suppose he is.

34
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:01,960
We tend to eat in rather a lot.

35
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,520
When we eat out, if you know what I
mean.

36
00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:13,170
He says, and he's quite right, that
eating out is very expensive these days.

37
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:16,930
But he does wine and dine you sometimes,
doesn't he? Oh, yes.

38
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:23,230
Well, not exactly wine and dine me, it's
lager and hamburger me.

39
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:27,290
And when you eat in, he does bring the
wine?

40
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,190
Yes, he brought a bottle last week.

41
00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:34,350
But as we're only halfway through that
case of German stuff I got for the

42
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:36,730
translation, I thought we might as well
work our way through that, so we are.

43
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:38,570
Flowers?

44
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,960
No, he'd feel silly if I bought him
flowers.

45
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:43,140
You know what I mean.

46
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,620
Does he bring you flowers?

47
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,540
Well, we're a bit old for that.

48
00:02:46,780 --> 00:02:47,780
He doesn't?

49
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,220
No. Sounds mean to me.

50
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,459
No.

51
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:52,460
Careful.

52
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,280
That's what he is. He's careful.

53
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,540
Well, frugal even.

54
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,100
Mean.

55
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,040
He is mean. I've never really thought
about it before.

56
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,920
I've a good mind not to share my cake
with him.

57
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,180
Oh!

58
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:13,500
Hello, you two.

59
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,200
Hello, Finn. Hello, love.

60
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,840
Any coffee in the pot? Yes.

61
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,900
Piece of cake.

62
00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,020
Ah.

63
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:23,820
Ah.

64
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,020
No, I don't know. You made it, right?
How did you get it?

65
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,680
What's the matter? You look a bit fed
up.

66
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,160
Yes, I'm a bit.

67
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,960
I've been looking at Mike's books.

68
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,030
Mike? Yeah, it's not a jolly read.

69
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:41,430
I'm no accountant, but that business of
his is in trouble.

70
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,590
Why?

71
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:45,410
Basically a cash flow problem.

72
00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:46,750
No cash, no flow.

73
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:48,670
Oh.

74
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,190
What are you looking like that for?

75
00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:52,410
We were just calling him mean.

76
00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,730
Mean? You have to have money to be mean.

77
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,750
Still, these things have a way of
righting themselves, don't they?

78
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,310
You seen a Poseidon adventure?

79
00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,050
Where's Mike now?

80
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,900
Well, from the way he looked when I left
him, probably about to jump off the

81
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:06,900
nearest bridge.

82
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,020
I think I'll go and see him.

83
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,480
Do you want to take your cake?

84
00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:15,180
Um... No.

85
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,200
If he is about to jump off the nearest
bridge, he might be tempted to hang that

86
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,200
round his neck as a weight.

87
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,060
I shouldn't be doing this by rights, you
know.

88
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,680
I'm a craftsman.

89
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,260
I shouldn't be doing this by rights.

90
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,600
I'm a company director.

91
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,120
What do you mean, I?

92
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,500
You're they.

93
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,519
You're it.

94
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,840
Yeah, that's right.

95
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,920
I should have a labourer.

96
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,100
You've got one.

97
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,360
Stop moaning and get humping.

98
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,040
If this was a union shop, I'd have to
have a labourer.

99
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,800
I saw one man have a union.

100
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,080
There'd be two of us if I'd a labourer.

101
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,280
I'll tell you what.

102
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:23,680
Have a mass meeting with yourself and
take a vote on it.

103
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,420
In the meantime, just shift yourself and
get going.

104
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:30,850
I'm not loaded yet.

105
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:32,510
Yes, you are.

106
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:33,750
I'm not.

107
00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,690
There's not enough slabs here for the
old path.

108
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:37,570
Oh, there's enough to be going on with.

109
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:39,750
That's all we've got in stock at the
moment.

110
00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:44,370
You know what? I reckon a San Francisco
earthquake was more organised than you

111
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:45,370
are. Stop, brother.

112
00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,790
Just leave these things to the
management, eh?

113
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,510
I'm expecting a delivery in the very
near future.

114
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:55,190
In other words, they're holding back
until you paper this look. I wish you'd

115
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,070
lead the running of this company to
those who know.

116
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:58,850
I would if anyone did.

117
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:06,850
This thing should be in a museum. No, go
on, clear off.

118
00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:29,650
He's gonna tell me something.

119
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,850
Yeah, Mike?

120
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:04,850
I bought you a jersey.

121
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:10,330
Why? I mean... Thanks very much.

122
00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:13,410
Why?

123
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:16,150
I have days when I buy jerseys for
people.

124
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,010
It's very expensive.

125
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,730
Why don't I get a cup of tea or
something?

126
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,130
Oh, yeah, yeah.

127
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:26,970
Yes, perhaps you'd like to go into the
office?

128
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:29,170
The boardroom has just been creosoted.

129
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,240
The cleaner didn't turn up this morning.

130
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,880
Well, I like a place of work to look
like a place of work.

131
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,400
I wouldn't feel comfortable if it was
too tidy.

132
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:47,980
Just as well, really.

133
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:50,920
Filthy, isn't it?

134
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:55,640
Well, at least you didn't say this place
needs a woman's touch.

135
00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:57,420
Well, I couldn't.

136
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:01,080
A gang of women, perhaps. Very strong
women.

137
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,920
East German athlete?

138
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,160
That sort of thing, yes.

139
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,100
Filth apart, how's business?

140
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:12,560
Well, you know, up and down.

141
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,120
I saw Phil this morning.

142
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,100
Oh.

143
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:18,720
Why didn't you tell me?

144
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,380
Oh, well.

145
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:25,900
Another business going busted. Hardly a
riveting conversation, is it? You don't

146
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:26,900
have to rivet me.

147
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,540
Sounds rather rude, doesn't it?

148
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:30,660
Yes, it does rather.

149
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,440
There's no harm in confiding in a
friend.

150
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:37,620
Oh, well, I've never been a great
confider. I mean, uh...

151
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:42,090
When I was a kid, you know, just round
about the time you're supposed to go

152
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:48,290
blind if you keep on... ..doing it, I...

153
00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:55,270
I had a stye on my eyelid and I wanted
to tell

154
00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:56,930
somebody about it then, but I couldn't.

155
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:03,770
No, so I wrote a note and put it in my
satchel so that if I did go blind,

156
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,810
somebody would find it and realise what
had happened.

157
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:09,490
You should have told me.

158
00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:11,390
Well, I didn't know either.

159
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:13,510
What about this business?

160
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,290
How bad is it?

161
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:25,830
Well, not to put too fine a point on it,
Phil reckons I ought to declare myself

162
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:26,830
bankrupt.

163
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,270
Oh, my.

164
00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:30,270
That's a horrible phrase, isn't it?

165
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:34,290
Sounds as though you've got the plague
or something.

166
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,330
Did they put a big cross on your door?

167
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,300
Yes, or an... Would you like sugar?

168
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,200
Yeah. Yeah, either that or an inverted
pound sign.

169
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,140
Well, I blame the government. Yeah,
well, so do I.

170
00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:50,200
But then if the other lot were in power,
I suppose I'd blame them.

171
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,060
Oh, it's me, really.

172
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,060
You see, I get it all wrong.

173
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:00,000
I'm good at my job, I know that.

174
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:05,240
I'm no capability brown, but I am good
at my job. It's the organ, I think.

175
00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:12,610
It's the VAT and the tax and the
bookkeeping and... I'm sorry, I'm

176
00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:13,610
getting boring. No.

177
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,790
This beats telling people about the
thigh on your eye any day.

178
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:20,190
But what about debtors? You must have
debtors.

179
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:26,570
Oh, yes, a few, but it's such piddling
little amounts that I'm not the sort to

180
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:27,810
go round with an Alsatian.

181
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:29,130
What about the bank?

182
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,030
I already owe them.

183
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,109
Well, owe them more.

184
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,410
Banks love being owed money.

185
00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:34,670
Well -known fact.

186
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:36,900
Yes, I suppose I could try.

187
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,160
Phone them now.

188
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,760
Now?

189
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,040
Yes. Well, no, I can't now.

190
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,840
I've got lots of things to do. What's
the number?

191
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,100
Now, don't get bossy. No, I'm not
getting bossy.

192
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,140
I just don't want to find your satchel
on the parapet of a bridge with a note

193
00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:54,180
it. Now, what's the number?

194
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:59,080
Three, four, five... Oh, no, I'll have
to look it up.

195
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,540
There's no dialing tone.

196
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:01,780
Well, ring the operator.

197
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,380
How can I ring the operator without a
dialing tone?

198
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:08,959
Oh. Oh.

199
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:16,940
It's the red one.

200
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,800
Not paid.

201
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,640
Nope.

202
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,440
Oh, well, then, mine's over. No, no, no,
no, no. You're not getting out of it

203
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,000
that way. Go round to the bank in
person. I thought you were going to say

204
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,880
I'm a bit of a mess. That's all right.

205
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:32,720
Put on your new jersey.

206
00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:49,030
You wouldn't come with me, would you?

207
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:50,270
I insist on it.

208
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,310
I'll not have you arriving there just as
they close.

209
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,250
The van's out.

210
00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:57,990
We'll have to go by bus.

211
00:11:58,190 --> 00:11:59,310
I always go everywhere by bus.

212
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,170
I like sitting upstairs at the front and
driving.

213
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,740
Hey. This is Kashmir. I know some goats.

214
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,000
Good God.

215
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,980
What time do you call this?

216
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:49,730
Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie.

217
00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,390
I had to see my accountant.

218
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,170
You weren't tapping in for a loan.

219
00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:55,630
No, no, no.

220
00:12:56,150 --> 00:13:00,050
I wanted him to explain my accounts to
me so that I can explain them to the

221
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:01,050
manager when he arrives.

222
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:02,650
Well, what's he coming round here for
anyway?

223
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:03,970
Have a look at the place generally.

224
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:06,210
Help him make up his mind about the
loan.

225
00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:07,470
Oh, no bother.

226
00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,150
He'll step through that gate and turn
right round again.

227
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,750
Oh, you're a real comfort.

228
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,470
Anyway, thanks for the clean -up,
Charlie.

229
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,690
Didn't have to do it. Oh, no, I didn't.

230
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,360
I didn't intend to. No proper work for a
skilled man.

231
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,900
See, women.

232
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,360
What women?

233
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,400
They're women in the office.

234
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,720
Bossy couple. One of them in particular.

235
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,560
Your wife's a right little cracker.

236
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,480
I don't care if they're Elsie and Doris
Waters.

237
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,340
They've got no right to be bellicose
with a skilled man.

238
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,860
In the union, you'd have a stoppage on
your hands.

239
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,780
Oh, thanks anyway, Charlie.

240
00:13:45,689 --> 00:13:46,830
Yeah, I bought this pipe myself.

241
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,069
All right.

242
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:53,070
I'll eat to me.

243
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,170
You said it would take these German
athletes.

244
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:18,310
Mit Heidi und Trudy.

245
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,930
Well, I don't know what to say.

246
00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:24,630
Try Guten Morgen.

247
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:29,750
You're a smasher, both of you. Thanks.

248
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:31,770
Don't thank me. I was press -ganged.

249
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:34,010
By the way, I bought you some decent
cups and sauce.

250
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,040
In my experience, bank managers are very
influenced by what they drink, I

251
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,660
thought. In my experience, they're very
influenced by a short skirt.

252
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:44,460
No, I'll give him tea out of a deepened
cup when I'm not wearing a short skirt.

253
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,600
Now, remember, ask for more than you
want. Then he can offer you less without

254
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,600
losing face.

255
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:53,020
Well, as he's not Japanese, I don't
suppose he cares about losing face.

256
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,840
He might just say no.

257
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,160
No, think positive.

258
00:14:56,780 --> 00:14:57,780
All right.

259
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,580
He will say no. No, and you don't be so
pessimistic.

260
00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:05,930
Well, look at it.

261
00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:11,470
I mean, you can disguise the dirt, but
you can't disguise the facts. Now, what

262
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:12,850
have I actually got to show him?

263
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:14,350
A rotten old shed?

264
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,690
A beat -up old van?

265
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,550
A staff of one?

266
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,570
And a pile of old debts?

267
00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:25,710
Winston Churchill wouldn't have talked
like that. He would, if he'd owned this

268
00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:26,710
place.

269
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:32,090
I'm sorry, I'm whining.

270
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:35,150
It's women, you see. What about women?

271
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:41,870
Well, they're easier to whine to, and
once you get started, you want to go

272
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,270
on and on.

273
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:49,590
Oh, I feel like having a damn good cry,
actually.

274
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,490
I don't think bank managers are much
impressed by tear -stained faces.

275
00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,970
Not men's tear -stained faces.

276
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,650
Well, probably not.

277
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,230
Anyway, thanks for the support.

278
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,780
And if I get the loan, it's champagne
all right.

279
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,019
You're on.

280
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:07,820
Well, I think that's everything.

281
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,080
Oh.

282
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,960
Hello.

283
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,400
I bought you a cake to have with your
tea.

284
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,660
Oh, thanks, Helen.

285
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,020
Good luck, Mike.

286
00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:53,029
It's gone then.

287
00:16:53,030 --> 00:16:54,030
Yep.

288
00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:09,390
Well?

289
00:17:09,849 --> 00:17:14,670
He was a nice man, Charlie. Not just a
computer in a suit. He cared. He really

290
00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:15,269
did care.

291
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:16,269
He was a nice man.

292
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,270
Didn't get a load?

293
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:18,490
No.

294
00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:19,950
I didn't think he would.

295
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,390
Well, I can't say I blame him, really.

296
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:27,650
The way he explained the current
financial situation to me, I felt like

297
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:28,650
him some money.

298
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,290
So what happens?

299
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:37,390
Well, either I go bust now, or I make a
real fight of it

300
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,650
and go bust in three months' time.

301
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,230
I'll be out of a job.

302
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:43,570
Afraid so.

303
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:50,110
I've been thinking about that, and I've
got no idea. No, Charlie.

304
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,130
You ain't heard it yet. I don't have to.

305
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:55,310
Don't take me in with that old moodie of
yours, you know.

306
00:17:55,930 --> 00:18:00,530
You're the sort of old idiot who'd
refuse to go. The sort of old idiot

307
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:01,650
stop on and work for nothing.

308
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,150
Leave off.

309
00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:06,890
What? The day you can't pay my wages,
I'm off.

310
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,790
Now, you see, my idea was this.

311
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:17,490
I've got a little bit of money, poor
boy. No, no, no, Charlie.

312
00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:19,610
No, I can't have you.

313
00:18:20,139 --> 00:18:21,920
Pouring good money after bad.

314
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:23,260
Well, it's my money.

315
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,120
I'll do what I like with it.

316
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,260
Anyway, it ain't a bad little business.

317
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:32,000
And I wouldn't mind owning a bit of it.
Oh, Charlie.

318
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,160
No, not this.

319
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,500
My brother -in -law smooths out his
tobacco -ness.

320
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:50,780
You see, what I'm trying to say is this.
Now, look. Don't you worry about me.

321
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,300
Of course, I've got options. Thanks,
Charlie.

322
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:54,620
That's all right.

323
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,840
Right, well, when will you make your
mind up?

324
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,500
Soon. I'll let you know.

325
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,720
Ah, good.

326
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,440
I've done had me dinner.

327
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,220
Of course, then there'd be me redundancy
money.

328
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:11,740
Oh, that's in a pint.

329
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,640
Have it on me.

330
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:28,350
this habit of shutting yourself in
somewhere any time anybody disagrees

331
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:30,150
you. Agree with me, then.

332
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,170
Phil. It's your sister. I said my piece.

333
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:35,470
Well, say it again, more eloquently.

334
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:36,769
All right.

335
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:37,770
Laura, you're crackers.

336
00:19:39,670 --> 00:19:40,670
I'm not.

337
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,370
Somebody's got to help Mike.

338
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:47,190
The bank won't, and if I want to lend
him some of my money, then it's my

339
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:51,310
business. I know that look. You used to
look like that when you wouldn't eat two

340
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:53,470
greens. I used to win through, though,
didn't I?

341
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,740
Your hair didn't curl, though, did it? I
didn't want curly hair. Then why did

342
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,800
you try to cut mine off with a garden
shin? This is all very fascinating.

343
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,400
talking about money, not curly hair.

344
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,320
But, Laura, for the last time, if you
put money into Mike's business, you

345
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,560
just as well flush it down the loo.

346
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,400
I mean, for all you know, he might take
your money and disappear to the south of

347
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,700
France. Look, you were the two who
brought us together.

348
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,180
You're the two who keep telling me what
a decent chap he is. Now, all of a

349
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:19,080
sudden, he's Ronald B. Yeah, and there's
another thing. He might not like owing

350
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:19,799
you money.

351
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,860
It's no good for the relationship, the
man owing the woman money.

352
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,940
particularly for the man. It has a
neutering effect.

353
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,520
Does that fit the piano?

354
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:31,420
Have you quite finished?

355
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,920
Well, what about you two giving him some
money?

356
00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:37,640
It's all right. I'm joking. I'm joking.

357
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,180
Not one word about this. Not one.

358
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,140
If you do, I'll keep cooking food and
forcing it down your throats.

359
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,060
Good evening.

360
00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:54,810
Champagne Charlie is my name.

361
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:57,469
Crack up.

362
00:20:57,470 --> 00:20:58,389
He's drunk.

363
00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:59,390
Mike.

364
00:21:01,310 --> 00:21:03,490
I nearly quit.

365
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:04,950
I really did.

366
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,390
But you haven't. No.

367
00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:10,710
So way landscape gardening lives.

368
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:12,290
How?

369
00:21:12,570 --> 00:21:15,310
I've decided how I can raise the money.

370
00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:17,390
That's how.

371
00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:18,830
Well?

372
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:20,410
I'm going to tell my house.

373
00:21:21,190 --> 00:21:22,470
It suddenly hit me.

374
00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:24,680
I've only got three assets left.

375
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,520
The will to stay in business, a nice new
jersey, and my house.

376
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,000
So I'm going to sell my house.

377
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,320
You're crackers.

378
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:33,060
According to you, everyone's crackers
today.

379
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,360
Mike, you're insane.

380
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,500
Good for you, I say. I thought you
would.

381
00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:39,020
It's the brotherhood of the self
-employed, see?

382
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,460
OK, so you make the grand gesture. You
sell your house to save your business.

383
00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:45,440
Now, have you thought where you're going
to live? That was a problem.

384
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,840
And then it hit me.

385
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,480
And when you come to think about it,
it's blindingly obvious.

386
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,440
isn't it? Why go to all that trouble?

387
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,160
You could have just moved into Ralph and
House.

388
00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:10,940
No, no, no, it's too pricey. Well, I
like it.

389
00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:15,240
I'm worried about you. No, it's sort of
symbolic, isn't it? Yes, of a total

390
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,360
mental collapse. No.

391
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,720
No, no, no, think positively.

392
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,360
The only way from here is up.

393
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:23,620
You can say that again.

394
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:25,960
Oh, come on, let's all go and have a
drink.

395
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,200
See you in the pub.

396
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,380
I was thinking of lending you some
money, but you wouldn't have taken it,

397
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:37,380
you? No.

398
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,860
Twerp. It takes one to know one.

399
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,060
I was going to ask you a favour, though.

400
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,520
Go on.

401
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,060
Well, I mean, this place.

402
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:49,760
Let's face it, it's a dump.

403
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,560
It's not the sort of place you can spend
an evening in.

404
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,760
No.

405
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,820
Looking at an old lawnmower does have
limits as entertainment.

406
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:00,580
Yeah.

407
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,560
So...

408
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:10,880
I thought that when we were spending an
evening together, I mean, your flat

409
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,580
having more amenities... Oh, Mike, you
know you're welcome there whenever you

410
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:15,580
like. Oh, thanks.

411
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:17,660
Is that it? No.

412
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:21,160
No, there was something else.

413
00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:24,800
It's a bit cheeky, really, but...

414
00:23:25,879 --> 00:23:30,260
As it's been my day for Cheek, I thought
I'd push my luck. Mike, the others will

415
00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:35,540
be waiting. No, no, no. I was going to
ask you all evening. I just somehow

416
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:37,660
didn't get round to it. Well, you better
have.

417
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:45,560
Right. And don't... Don't be... Don't be
mad at me. I

418
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,980
mean, if you're offended... Mike, for
goodness sake, oh!

419
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,660
Well, when I come round to your flat...
Flat, yes.

420
00:23:52,270 --> 00:23:55,590
Would you mind if I used your washing
machine?

421
00:23:58,330 --> 00:24:02,970
Oh, come on.

422
00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:35,040
A fine romance with no wrestling A

423
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:41,700
fine romance with no nestling We two are
just as prickly as

424
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:48,500
cactus plants Love hasn't got a chance
It is a fine romance